Perceive all conflicts as patterns of energy seeking a harmonious balance in the whole
Conflict represents a clash between multiple realities or points of view. We may clash or struggle over any number of things, including ideas, needs, interests, values, agendas, and cultural misunderstandings. People may experience conflict because they are in competition for the same things, such as resources, power, or prestige. Diverse points of view can cause conflict. Anytime people interact, the potential for conflict exists. When we talk about parties in conflict, the word parties can refer to individuals, groups, organizations, communities and societies.
It is important, even consoling, to remember that conflict is a normal and inevitable part of life: “Conflict is inevitable in a setting where people have different points of view and freedom of expression is encouraged. The effects of conflict can be either disruptive and destructive or creative and constructive, depending upon whether the persons involved can work toward mutual understanding or simply an agreement to differ without disrespect. Inability to cope with conflict constructively and creatively leads to increased hostility, antagonism, and divisiveness; clear thinking disintegrates, and prejudice and dogmatism come to prevail…”
Unlike conflict resolution, conflict management does not necessarily seek to terminate or even “solve” the conflict. People’s socially learned behaviours, norms, values, beliefs, languages, and other components of their culture help us understand the causes of conflict and how we perceive and manage it. More specifically, different ways of communicating, leadership styles, gender roles, methods of getting work done, and how we behave as a member of a team are only a few of the cultural variables that come into play.
If managed well, conflict can lead to:
Conflict is not a bad thing and conflict management processes and techniques can be learned and practised. In education, where constructive conflict is necessary for intellectual debate, new ideas and creative solutions – conflict at an appropriate level should be welcomed. Conflict must be managed – to encourage and maximize the benefits it can bring to informed decision-making and the building of productive relationships.
Participating as a member of a school board calls upon our intellect and our hearts as well as our skills. People bring to any important conversation a wide range of experiences and perspectives. Wherever individuals with strong convictions work together there will be differences; how we engage and manage those differences determines whether such conflict will get in the way of our collective wisdom, or, enable it to emerge.
What makes elected boards strong can also be the source of conflict since boards:
Given these characteristics, it is not surprising that management of conflict is a recurring challenge. Most of the differences experienced are more complex than individual styles or traits. Friction can certainly result from unhelpful “behaviour” in terms of interpersonal communication. But conflicts more frequently result from lack of information, different views of what information is important, or even varying interpretations of available information. Often, conflict is rooted too in different needs or interests and the perception that all the choices facing the board are in competition with one another. Structural conflicts involving a struggle over power or authority also occur. Value conflicts, the most difficult to resolve, result from different ideals, different ways of understanding the world.
People who invest their energy and passion in a difficult issue have a need to achieve clarity and resolution. And when they do, an amazing sense of accomplishment and commitment results.
Conflict - Board Members
Conflict on the board can arise from differences between or among individual members or member factions. Varying perspectives can sometimes seem irreconcilable. An effective board chair can be influential in managing the conflict. This involves achieving a balance between encouraging the airing of conflicting views until a productive resolution has been reached and knowing when to step in to make sure that the conflict does not prevent the board achieving its business and making necessary and timely decisions. The chair should be careful not to add to conflict by making peremptory rulings and cutting off discussion prematurely. An effective chair will set the tone, clarify the decisions that need to be reached, and make sure that all trustees have all the information needed to make informed decisions.
Conflict between board and the director
Differences between the board of trustees and the director are often structural in nature, that is, they have to do with the boundaries of each other’s roles and responsibilities. Trust is a huge factor in the board-director relationship. The more the board is involved in strategic decisions, the greater will be the trust. In contrast, the board exhibits less trust when there is greater involvement in overseeing operational decisions. Clarity about the respective roles and responsibilities of the board and the director are an essential tool in managing conflict.
Conflict between the organization and its constituency
Sometimes the decisions of the board can be challenged by individuals or groups that are part of the board’s constituency. This can arise whenever people become unhappy with specific budget or policy directions being undertaken by the board. Open communication with the public is critical to ensure that they can become informed about decisions and, wherever possible, the rationale behind the decisions.
Pay attention to good interpersonal communications
No amount of written policy statements or role descriptions can substitute for regular attention to good communications practices in board meetings and e-mail communication. Boards and senior staff need to have a conversation about such practices on a regular basis. Meeting “ground rules” can help. Boards should devote some time, at least once a year, perhaps at orientation, to reflect on and discuss good communication practices. On an individual level this includes balancing “inquiry” (asking questions of one another) and “advocacy” (stating our own viewpoint), being aware of our assumptions, and being more intentional in listening to one another. Board members can be more effective if each person puts into practice the principle that one should ‘seek first to understand, and then to be understood.”
Operate with a strategic plan
The existence of a strategic plan or involvement in a strategic planning process that helps articulates goals, objectives and outcomes can be of great value in reducing the potential for conflict over the meaning of the organizational mission, strategic choices and priorities.
Clarify roles and responsibilities
Boards must strive to clarify the roles and responsibilities of individual members and officers (especially the chairperson) and the board’s role in relation to staff. This is helpful in establishing mutual respect. An annual board orientation session is a logical place for such a discussion. Job descriptions outlining duties and responsibilities can be helpful but are seldom sufficient for clarifying roles, especially where board and staff responsibilities overlap such as in determining and working on strategic objectives.
Help develop a skilled chairperson
An effective board chair is critical to managing conflict. Such effectiveness comes from clarity about the chair’s role, personal integrity, an understanding of the importance of process and the liberal use of proven facilitation techniques. A chair needs the board’s support in assuming an active role in guiding the board. (Please see Module 15: What makes a Great Board Chair? for more information.)
Learn about conflict resolution processes
Boards and directors can really benefit from some familiarity with negotiation and conflict resolution processes before a conflict arises. Some understanding will help the organization determine the appropriate mechanism for a particular situation, including when outside assistance might be of value. Conflict resolution is regarded as a core skill area for today’s leaders. It is a topic that should be introduced as part of board education and be added to the list of professional development goals for senior staff, particularly the director.
Establish a code of conduct for the board
Develop a written code of conduct for board members that sets standards and rules for their relationship with one another, with the director and with senior staff. A code of conduct ought to set some rules on issues such as confidentiality, conflict of interest, conduct at meetings and speaking with “one voice”. (Please see Module 17: Developing a Code of Conduct for more information.)
Encourage board self-assessment
Formal evaluation processes for the board and director are important mechanisms for direct communication and action that can improve working relationships. Boards should evaluate themselves (with the director having an opportunity to provide his/her own assessment of the relationship) and should regularly evaluate the director according to pre-determined criteria, generally based on description of roles and responsibilities. (Please see Module 5b: Board Self-Assessment – Governance Review for more information about board self- assessment.)
Celebrate agreements and new understandings
Both boards and staff can do more to acknowledge the hard work that is involved in expressing and working through tough issues. We can all show genuine appreciation for openness and risk-taking. A round of “appreciation” or a celebratory event can be useful ways of drawing attention to success in managing conflict.
Respectful dialogue, in the interest of searching for more complete truth, is considerably more productive than arguing for the purity of position.
We all have emotional, cognitive and physical responses to conflict. It is important to pay attention to these responses as they often tell us more about what the true source of the ‘threat’ is. By noticing our responses to conflict, we may get better insights into how to resolve the problem.
Emotional responses: feelings ranging from fear to anger to despair to confusion. Emotional responses can be misunderstood because people think that other people feel the same way they do. Differing emotional responses can be confusing and even threatening.
Cognitive responses: thoughts and ideas, sometimes in the form of self-talk. (What does he think he is doing? How selfish!) Cognitive responses can contribute to emotional and physical responses.
Physical responses: heightened stress, bodily tension, increased perspiration, tunnel vision, shallow or accelerated breathing, nausea, rapid heartbeat, etc. Biologically, we are programmed for flight or fight. These responses can be controlled to a certain degree by using stress management techniques. If physical responses are controlled effectively, a calmer emotional environment may result.
The work of Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann identified five main styles of dealing with conflict that vary in their degrees of cooperativeness and assertiveness. They argued that people typically have a preferred conflict resolution style. However they also noted that different styles were most useful in different situations. It is important to understand both your preferred style and other possible approaches. This allows you to consider the best approach or combination of approaches for the situation you are dealing with.
It will always help to be open to adopting a conflict management style that suits the situation you find yourself in even when that means stepping outside your preferred style. This will be influenced by such considerations as: time pressure; whether important priorities or values are at stake; the importance of your relationship with the other party; the respective power of the parties to the conflict. Choosing the optimum style for the situation goes a long way in resolving the problem, respecting people’s legitimate interests, mending damaged working relationships and setting the stage for sound decision-making.
The following is a collaborative approach to managing conflict in ways that offer all participants a voice and ensure that all relevant information to reach a solution is available.
I. Step One: Set the Scene
II. Step Two: Gather Information
Try to get to underlying interests, needs, motivations, goals, and concerns
Ask for and confirm respect for everyone’s opinions
Try to understand the conflict in objective terms
Is the conflict hampering decision- making?
Focus on the substantive issues and leave personalities aside.
Use active listening
Identify issues clearly and concisely
III. Step Three: Agree on the Problem
IV. Step Four: Brainstorm Possible Solutions
V. Step Five: Negotiate a Solution
Note: It is always helpful to record what was decided to ensure there is no confusion at a later point.
As noted in Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher & William Ury) this principled negotiation method of focusing on basic interests, mutually satisfying options, and fair standards typically results in a wise solution: “The method permits you to reach a gradual consensus on a joint decision efficiently without all the transactional costs of digging in to positions only to have to dig yourself out of them. And separating the people from the problem allows you to deal directly and empathetically with others as a human being, thus making possible an amicable agreement.”
We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking.
Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. Often when people talk to each other, they are distracted, half listening, half thinking about something else. In conflict situations, they are often busy formulating a response to what is being said. They assume that they have heard what their opponent is saying many times before so, rather than paying attention, they focus on how they can respond to win the argument.
Active listening has several benefits. First, it forces people to listen attentively to others. Second, it avoids misunderstandings, as people have to confirm that they do really understand what another person has said. Third, it tends to open people up, to get them to say more. When people are in conflict, they often contradict each other, denying the opponent’s description of a situation. This tends to make people defensive, and they will either lash out, or withdraw and say nothing more. However, if they feel that their opponent is really attuned to their concerns and wants to listen, they are likely to explain in detail what they feel and why. If both parties to a conflict do this, the chances of being able to develop a solution to their mutual problem becomes much greater.
Listen in order to fully understand what is being said to you.
Rephrase what you heard the person say so you can be sure you heard correctly
Ask questions that help you get more information, e.g., “What did you mean when you said….?”
Offer encouragement and support.
Ask how the person feels. Be careful not to assume that you know how the person feels.
|Communication Blockers||Communication Helpers|
|Blaming and attacking||Asking for more information and problem solving together|
|Being distracted or using other body language that is non-attentive||Giving full attention such as making eye contact or leaning toward the other person|
|Dismissing or making light of someone’s problem||Showing empathy, validating the other person’s feelings|
|Interrupting||Staying silent until the person is finished speaking|
|“Yes…but” statements||“Yes….and” statements|
Brainstorming is a process for generating creative ideas and solutions through intensive and freewheeling group discussion. Every participant is encouraged to think aloud and suggest as many ideas as possible, no matter how seemingly outlandish or bizarre. Analysis, discussion, or criticism of the aired ideas is allowed only when the brainstorming session is over and evaluation session begins.
Ground Rules for Brainstorming
Focus on quantity – the more ideas generated the more likely that a creative solution will emerge
Suspend criticism – focus on fleshing out ideas and leave critical evaluation to the decision-making stage
Welcome unusual ideas – divergent thinking can generate unexpected solutions
Combine/improve on ideas – building on and blending ideas presented can produce new solutions
How to run a Brainstorming Session
Getting to a collective decision
As a group:
Think through the following points before you start negotiating:
Goals: what do you want to get out of the negotiation? What do you think the other person wants?
Trades: What do you and the other person have that you can trade? What do you each have that the other wants? What are you each comfortable giving away?
Alternatives: if you don’t reach agreement with the other person, what alternatives do you have? Are these good or bad? How much does it matter if you do not reach agreement? Does failure to reach an agreement cut you out of future opportunities? And what alternatives might the other person have?
Relationships: what is the history of the relationship? Could or should this history impact the negotiation? Will there be any hidden issues that may influence the negotiation? How will you handle these?
Expected outcomes: what outcome will people be expecting from this negotiation? What has the outcome been in the past, and what precedents have been set?
The consequences: what are the consequences for you of winning or losing this negotiation? What are the consequences for the other person?
Power: who has what power in the relationship? Who controls resources? Who stands to lose the most if agreement isn’t reached? What power does the other person have to deliver what you hope for?
Possible solutions: based on all of the considerations, what possible compromises might there be?
For a negotiation to be ‘win-win’, both parties should feel positive about the negotiation once it’s over and be able to keep good working relationships afterwards. This governs the style of the negotiation – histrionics and displays of emotion are clearly inappropriate because they undermine the rational basis of the negotiation and because they bring a manipulative aspect to them. The negotiation itself is a careful exploration of your position and the other person’s position, with the goal of finding a mutually acceptable compromise that gives you both as much of what you want as possible and that provides an effective conclusion. People’s positions are rarely as fundamentally opposed as they may initially appear - the other person may have very different goals from the ones you expect. In an ideal situation, you will find that the other person wants what you are prepared to trade, and that you are prepared to give what the other person wants.
Consensus is mutual agreement among the parties involved that all legitimate concerns of individuals have been addressed by the group and everyone agrees to support the decision. It is important to remember that a consensus decision does not mean that everyone agrees. It does mean that all members have had an opportunity to express their opinions and feel that they have been listened to by the group.
Noting that the formal decision-making process at meetings of the board of trustees requires the members to vote, the principles of consensus-building can be a positive approach in informal discussions and in community settings where voting is not the norm.
Tips for Consensus Building:
Who are the people involved in the conflict? What is their role in the education system?
Why does this conflict matter?
What are the obvious sources of conflict in the situation you are dealing with?
What might the underlying sources of conflict be?
What possible conflict styles would you anticipate in this situation?
What emotional, cognitive and physical reactions to conflict could be at play for the various participants? What is the role of the trustee in this situation? Why is it important for the trustee to handle the conflict effectively?
What information does the trustee need in order to understand the issue better? Who should he/she speak to? What questions does he/she need to ask? What means of communication would be the most useful? What human or other resources could he/she call on to help her before he/she responds?
How could the Five-Step Conflict Resolution Process be applied in this situation?
The leadership role of a school board trustee is played out in the public domain and involves high degrees of collaboration with colleague members of the board, with staff, with parents and with the broader community. In all human interactions, conflict is inevitable. A skilled trustee will have a belief in the power of effective conflict management to engage others in creating positive change and building an education system that gives everyone a voice.
From the work of Blake, Mouton & Williams (the Academic Administrator Grid: A Guide to Developing Effective Management Teams, 1981) ⤴
From Non-Profit Sector Leadership Program, Dalhousie University ⤴
Adapted from a resource written by E. Grant MacDonald. Associate Professor (Continuing Education) at Dalhousie University and Director of the Non-Profit Sector Leadership Program and Associate Director of the Negotiation and Conflict Management Program. Companion resources to this publication are available from the Non-Profit Sector Leadership Program at www.dal.ca/cce/nonprofit ⤴
Adapted from: Webne – Behrman, H. (Ed.) (2006). The practice of facilitation: Managing group processes and solving problems. Quorum Books. ⤴
From Media Education Foundation, Techniques for Active Listening ⤴
Osborn, A.F. (1963) Applied imagination: Principles and procedures of creative problem solving (Third Revised Edition). New York, NY: Charles Scribner’s Son. ⤴
From www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/NegotiationSkills.html See also www.mftrou.com/support-files/win-win-negotiation.pdf for useful information and ideas about using this technique. ⤴